Schoolyard Diplomacy and the Apocalyptic Chicken

Never speak to your enemies. Even if they ask you to. Only threaten them. Because that’s what just always, always works.

Dubya holds True to Form: He’s nuts, first of all. Can we establish that? Nuts. I mean, whatever the measuring stick is, he’s nuts. And he still wants to attack Iran!?! After mismanaging ever single thing he’s ever done in office, including two preemptive and illegal wars and a natural disaster. And yes, Billy-Bob, I understand that you cannot manage a Natural Disaster. You can, however, manage your response to one. Fair enough?

Want more? Ground Zero remains a smouldering hole, the Constitution in tatters, SoleSuperPowerStatus in jeopardy, global opinion at lowest in history, went from balanced books to the Largest National Debt in the entirety of Human History. And in spite of all that (and so much more it staggers me) Dubya still thinks maybe he can pull off somethin’ against Iran. Which most experts agree won’t be the cakewalk that Iraq was supposed to be but never was. It will take nothing less than magic for GWB to somehow not fuck that up. Act of God, maybe. Just throwin' that in there.

Attacking Iran? I figure you’re gonna want a particularily good quarterback for that one, and GWB has never actually been a particularly good anything. Wasn’t he a cheerleader at University? Did I hear that? Is that fact?

I digress. But it’s weird, no? A cheerleader? So weird. Best not to think of it. Where were we? Iran! Right!

Everything you need to know about Iran and America can be broken down into a game of ‘Apocalyptic Chicken.’ “Sure!” America says, “you don’t quit fucking with the nukes we’re gonna smack you down. Hard. Like Iraq. We might not be 'winning' anything but how anxious are you for a big mitful of Iraq-Styled Chaos in yer faces? Wanton, random destruction, pretty much everywhere, no plans and no problems just one big stinking mess. Well? You want that kind of shit on you? Cuz fuck it. We’re on a tear.”

And Iran is like, ‘well, shit, there’s a chance they can’t attack us because of this whole emerging world (America, even!) public opinion thing. There’s that. And the whole fear of finally unifying the Arabs, who could all, regardless of creed or culture, legitimately see the American Adventures as a full fledged invasion on all things Oil. And they’re still stretched ridiculously thin with the wars they’ve got, not to mention the thumpin’ heard literally around the world when the Dems took back the House and Senate.

No way Iran’s gonna blink first. There standing up to the biggest dog on the block and the whole Arab world is watching them do it. If anything, an American attack would only make Iran stronger in the eyes of the Muslim world, ala Hamas after the Israel-Lebanon thing.

So that’s Iran-America for you (see also: North Korea). A game of chicken. Schoolyard Diplomacy in the Nuclear Age, the diplomacy of choice for the manchild American President. And former cheerleader(?). But the Times they are a changin', eh Citizens? You bet yer fur they are.

-iSenseChange

p.p. Oh yeah, almost forgot. Impeach Bush. And Cheney. Now.

p.p.p. Out of Iraq and into Selma! Yowza!