Saturday, February 17, 2007

At Zeitgeist’s Zenith: the Slugging of George W. Bush.


“We’ll succeed,” says Georgie under the literal shadow of Ho Chi Minh and ever the apt pupil of History, “if we don’t quit.” This, the lesson Dubya’s chosen to learn from America’s Vietnam adventure. Jesus! What in the Christ does that mean?!? Anybody?!? In a cornucopia of weird things this man has said and done during his presidency alone, how is it he can still surprise me? Gotta hand it to him.

Tell you what I learned from America’s Vietnam Adventure: If you leave, IT DOESN’T MATTER. None of the scary things all the war hawks bleat about ever end up happening. Never. Just as America’s dismal failure in Vietnam never had bupkis to do with either halting or advancing the spread of Communism, so too will America’s inevitable failure in Iraq have nothing to do with the halting or advancing of some UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE, wide ranging, superpowered, Islamofascist Caliphate. A bunch of scary words that don’t amount to a hill of beans. You figure the Shiites and the Sunnis are gonna get together to take over the world? They’re actually blood fucking enemies! And that’s just two of the many splintered and rivalling Islamic sects that have all sorts of ancient reasons to hate one another until the end of time. Another ugly lie from the NeoCon hoard of ugly liars designed to make them and their buddies in the MilitaryIndustrialComplex somehow yet richer.

Speaking of Lies and Liars, Bush may now be impeached. You realize that, yes? Cheney may now be held accountable for his very obvious war profiteering with the ineffectual but now ‘vastly richer for the experience’ Halliburton, also. And he ought. They ought. American Citizens of all stripes, you owe it to all your country holds dear to remove these two men. If you are a politician, get the ball rolling. If you are an American citizen, start writing letters. Do it because these men are scoundrels that deserve it, more than any men in America's checkered political history or do it for the savage beating they delivered to your once grand Constitution but most importantly, do it as an example to the next round of liars and thieves that think they can twist and pervert your American Dream to their own sick ends. A message must be sent to whoever comes next. Nothing else you can do could be more important than that. Period. Get your shit together, America, the rest of us are sick of waiting for it and watching these fucks take what was Great and turn it to Shit.

I had the chance, I’d slug him. Right in the face. Love to. Dubya, I mean. Can’t. No access. But maybe you do? Maybe you’re a congressperson and you’re at a dinner party and President GWB is there and he says or does something really stupid and you just slug him right in the face, hard as you can. What happens? Sure, you get jumped by the secret service, but would they off you? Prob’ly not. So, what happens? Especially if, as a congressperson and pretty much all of yer constituents are glad as hell you did it? The path to the next election may well lay in slugging George Bush in the mouth. Hard as you can. Or maybe it just gets you and extended stay in Leavenworth. Or worse.

Fuck it. I had the chance I’d do it and let the chips fall where they may. No amount of waterboarding would ever remove the smile from my face. But I haven’t access. But maybe you do? Maybe you’re a ten year old winner of the National Spelling Bee and the President is gonna perform some utterly meaningless publicity function (rather than figuring out any kind of realistic solution to the Iraq Problem) that involves you, giving you the access that I lack. Well, here’s what you do: you screw up your little fists and right when he opens his mouth to say something stupid you pop him one, hard as you can. See if you can drop him with a ten-year-old, spelling-bee-champ haymaker and when he looks up at you with tears streaming down his face, right before the savage beating at the hands of the Secret Service, you look him dead in the eyes and tell him you did it for the soldiers. The world will see it and cheer you on, small comfort, perhaps, as thirty years later you’re still wasting away in some dingy prison in Syria (“waterboarding” W-A-T-E-R-B-O-A-R-D-I-N-G, “waterboarding”), but at least you’ll know in yer little heart o’ hearts you did the one thing that entire rest of the world would have loved to do. And you’d be famous! Maybe you write a book or something? There’s money there, kiddo, and ol’ Sensey’s here to help, should you need it. You can bet yer sweet bippy on that.

Have I said enough to be labelled an enemy combatant yet? I’m never certain anymore. Fuck it. Torture, I’m told, builds Character and as for the gulags, well, I’m no stranger to hard work. The fresh air can only do me good at this point.

Peace to you Citizens. Of all stripes. Even those that don’t look or talk like you and me. You dig? You better.

-iSC

p.p. Impeach them or deserve whatever dicks gain power next. You’ll get no sympathy from me and the whole world’ll agree that you deserve it. Wake up. Throw out the trash.

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