The results are in and the fit has officially hit the shan: in the most hideous seizure of power since Dubya’s daddy secured the White House for him in 2000, one third of the leadership of the Gonzo Warriors, for good or ill, has fallen into the hands of yours Truly, iSenseChange, Distinguished Blogger of Note and Ruffian At Large. The inmates have been running the asylum for a long time now but never has it been so obvious as this. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m an odd man to give any semblance of power to without some notion of Consequence. Fuck it. Buy the ticket and take the ride, that’s what the Good Doctor would’ve said and it’s as applicable here as anywhere.
First and foremost, gonna want to take a look at the budget. I have an extravagant lifestyle and uncommon needs. And appetites! I’ll need a secretary, obviously, and preferably one I can nail. I’m at my very best when I’m getting routinely laid. Means I’m not jerkin’ off so much. HAH! A maid might become necessary as well. A Spanish one. Yeah. That’s great. Good start.
But enough on that! For now. Where are we at, precisely? A good question. Who’s left standing and who’s fallen by the wayside? Maybe the thing to do is formulate some kind of general roll-call or whatnot. The transient nature of bloggers on this site, coupled with the recent Gonzite civil war means yer never quite sure who’s…still…here. Stand up and be accounted for, fellow Gonzites or be written off as one of the fallen. You’ll be honoured in some capacity, I’m sure, but probably not by me. I’m a General for fuck’s sake!
Yes sir, a new era for the Gonzo Warriors, gone be the golden reign of SoKP, Slipshoes and CelebrityTalks. The only constant is change. Now it’s me. And two chicks. And not a baby-oil sprinkler system in sight. Yet. As I said, I have uncommon needs.
And goals!
Like what, Sensey?
Well, if we’re not firing up some kind of weird stunt to fuck with the squares then what, precisely, are we doing and how, precisely, are we Gonzo? Hunter always knew that we were headed for weird times but I think it was Winston Churchill who said it best, that ‘weird times call for weird measures’. Something to mull. Yes. I have a few ideas and of course, I’m open to suggestions. My door is always open. Except when my secretary is taking dictation. Your General iSense huffing back massive rails from her heaving cleavage to the strains of Iron Butterfly’s ‘In a Gadda Da Vida’ are very private moments that few but the genuine 2%ers can possibly wrap their more pliable minds around. All for the good of the cause! I’m under a lot of pressure with this thing. Call it a mental health break and be done with it. Leave a note or something.
But shit, deception is everywhere and you guys just made me a General in what I've been calling the War on Information and I want you to know I take this position seriously. My war is your war. I say we start fucking with that pimp Lou Dobbs and 'Satan Incarnate' (aka Bill O'Reilley) almost instantly. They like their little letters from the viewers eh? The Gonzites need to make a mark on these things. That's for starters and it's an absolute necessity.
Get active in some way or another and where possible, Gonzites, and I'm not even kidding. TV sucks these days anyways. Maybe the Sixties was just a dry fire after all, a practise shot for the Real Deal of the Early 2Ks. Bullshit is omnipresent and, perhaps more than ever before in human history, obvious to even the commonest of Man. Many things hinge on the next set of elections in America this November and the Repubbies are working hard to steal this one as well. Another dangerous unwinnable War with global implications -this time with Iran- looms just beyond the outcome.
There are things we can do, all of us, that must be done. The preservation of the freedom of the Internet is paramount, for even as we speak legislation is moving into place to give control of it over to the corporations, the same type of corporations that have so ruthlessly gutted the media. The end result is obvious to all but the lemmings.
Go here. Peruse.
SAVE THE INTERNET
Communication and Truth may be the only hope for mankind in these dark days. For those of us smart enough to see it coming, it is irresponsible and cowardly not to join the fray.
So stand up and be counted or live in Fear forever! This Gonzo thing, well, ol' iSense can't carry it on his own. It's what you, each of you, make it. Let's do some shit!
The Brave, the Strong: the Still Standing or the Brand Fucking New:
Celebrity Talks
Keywoman1
iSenseChange
Quiddity
Johnny Canuck
Wabbit Huntur
Pinhole
Deorre
the Geminian
Thorniest Rose
Free Radical
DanceLover
Fordrid the Slightly Savage
Born Sandy
Channeled From Beyond the Grave:Son of King Pharmacy
Right! Give yourselves a hand. Be sure to lube up and start with a finger or two. Go slow, at first. Heh heh.
Don't see yer name here? Respond to this blog and let us know, hell, let the whole DAMNED WORLD KNOW that you, friend, are the living, breathing personification of Raw Grit.
All for now.
- General iSenseChange of the Gonzo Warriors
p.p. Heard trephination’s making a comeback in a big way. All the kids in France are doing it. You drill a hole right into your skull and put like a big wedge of cork in it. They call it bung-holing. Noserings are for pussies now. Yep.
NonRandomMP3age: “Revolution” by the Beatles
Bar wisdom: “It’s okay to be fat. And it’s okay to be grumpy. But it’s not okay to be fat and grumpy.” Discuss.
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