Your 2008 Vice Presidential Short-List Hotlist

Sat May 24, 2008 at 11:43:55 AM PST

Alternatively: Obama Would be Smarter to Eat His Own Face than Pick Hillary Clinton for V.P.

As opposed to whatever you'd say Cheney's doing, in your far more traditional ‘top-down' styled administrations your VP really has one function and one function alone: Get your Presidential nominee elected. The flipside of which being some kind of cause-no-harm/don't-fuck-up kinda thing, which changes little once actually elected. That having been said and with out further ado I hereby present your 2008 Vice Presidential Short-List

Cutting edge (and still totally FREE!!!) political analysis and predictions below the fold.

THIS JUST IN!!!: alot of talk about Wes Clark (which I find unfathomable), Gore (unlikely he'd go for it), Sibelius is coming up alot, there's some good points on Kaine and there's an awful lot of Edwards talk...

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NOT HILLARY CLINTON:
If Obama makes Hillary his veep I will gleefully admit I know absolutely nothing about politics and from that very moment will give up blogging forever. Take up gardening or something. Seriously. Because picking Hillary would be the biggest mistake of Bama’s political career whether he won the presidency or not. Especially if he won it! Jesus H!! He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy, which, at this phase, may well be...Hillary Clinton?

She’s working the same Whitehouse as you? One heartbeat away, as they say? And she’s supposed to do what you tell her to? Facilitate your goals and strategies? Make your vision happen for you, even in the extremely likely event that the two of you disagree? Really?!? Are you kidding me? ‘Bama’s not insane and that’s what you’d have to be to handpick as your VP anybody, any creature of such raw, naked ambition and utter disregard for the basic Rules of Operation.

Hillary as Bama's VP is a preposterous, unthinkable idea and Obama knows it better than anybody on earth with the possible exception of Bill Clinton, who of course recommended it anyways. It will never, ever happen. We must move on and I’m exceptionally happy to.

JOHN EDWARDS:
I’m an Edwards fan but here’s why you don’t pick him as your VP: because he’s already had a shot at it and been a part of a losing election. It didn’t work out for the last guy and you don’t want to associate yourself with the utter misery that was the 2004 Presidential Elections, even peripherally. It’s not fair to him but it is that way. He’d far better serve you as one of the finest Attorneys General that America has ever seen.

BILL RICHARDSON:
Jesus, I hate to say it but here we go anyways: The Black guy picks a Latin guy when Race is already an issue in the nomination, when Billy Hayseed of the Deep South already has reservations enough?

Nope. Never happen. "There’s right and there’s wrong and there’s politics," one asshole said to another. Not fair to Richardson neither but there it is. Oter than that Rcihardson's principle characteristic is that he's a nice guy which Obama seems to already have sewn up quite...nicely. Ahem. And sure, there's some Foreign Policy advantages to choosing Richardson but if that's the qualifier in your VP selection do you choose Richradson or somebody else? You choose somebody else.

JIM WEBB:
He’s a strong choice, no denying it. I don’t think ‘Bama’s gonna choose him but there’s a lot of solid reasons to do so, primary of which is that he is a war hero in an election against a war hero during a time of War. If this were Election ‘04 then ‘Bama’d be nuts to go with anybody else.

But this isn’t in 2004. This is in 2008. A somewhat awakened American Citizenry have almost entirely discovered that the War was both a sham and a huge waste of money and lives. So what does it mean? Obama, having been one of a very few to speak out against it at the time it mattered most, has the Iraq War Debate well in hand.

Joe Biden:
Joe Biden is a cool dude. And he can talk Foreign Policy all day. And he can help you reach across the aisle because he’s got creds with Republican Reds. And everybody knows he’s a good guy, a smart guy and a guy that doesn’t take a whole lot of bullshit. None of which is the reason why Barack Obama will choose him as his VP. Barack Obama will choose Joe Biden for his V.P. because he interviews like a dream and comes across like he knows what he’s talking about.

And this election is all about interviews filtered and twisted through mainstream news outlets and then being deconstructed and wholly analyzed from, for the first time ever, full spectrum perspective. In this brand new FaceBookYouTubeBlogWorlde of ours. Which is a lot of sociotechno-gobbledygook that basically means you want somebody who is comfortable being interviewed by anybody about anything, will competently lay out your positions and perspectives whenever he can.

[faithful readers please note I am but a fledgling Kossack and have yet to master the intricacies of inserting the relevant vid into my blog. Please stand by]

And he’s gonna be like John McCain is my friend and a hero but he’s full of shit on this and it’s obvious and here’s why. You know? All with a smile on his face, like, pffft! McCain, you believe this guy? What is he thinking?

Because there will be bullshit. This is the Biggest of Shows. This is for all the marbles. This is American Politics. Courtesy of your Mainstream Media. And Joe Biden can call bullshit when he sees it and do it with authority. That's my two cents on why he should be Veep.

My two cents. What're you thinkin'? Do you get accolades around here for accurately predicting things like nominees, Presidents, Vice-Presidents and whatnot? A No-Prize? How do these things work?

Poll: Obama's V.P. will be...?

Hillary Clinton
1% 5 votes

NOT Hillary Clinton
33% 127 votes

John Edwards
5% 19 votes

Bill Richardson
4% 18 votes

Jim Webb
18% 68 votes

Joe Biden
12% 46 votes

Other (who?)
24% 91 votes

| 374 votes total