Sat Dec 08, 2007 at 09:24:48 AM PST
Alternatively, "Why McCain Can Win It."
So if nobody’s talking about Iraq, is McCain electable? Because if it’s not him, who the hell is it? I know Huck’s in the lead right now but how long can it last? I’ve never seen a candidate more primed for self-implosion than Mike Huckabee. He got a bump in the polls and thought it was Divine providence. I refuse to believe a majority of Republicans are that involved in magical thinking. I’ve talked to some of these folks (true story!) and as much as it is a party for the Religio-nutjobs, this is also the party of the CEOs, Big Business and Power. They hate taxes, the poor and probably Black people and tolerate the otherwise intolerable religious wing because it keeps them in power and because they’re so ridiculously easy to control. The ascendancy of former cokehead and frat boy, George ‘Dubya’ Bush, is proof positive of that.
Guliani’s got a raft of scandals behind him, Mitt’s a Mormon (do you actually believe you become a god and get a planet named after you when you die? Isn’t that just as fair a question as whether Kucinich thinks he saw a UFO or not? Discuss), the Creationist preacher almost has to self-destruct and the possibly sleeping actor has yet to impress a single person, anywhere, of anything. McCain’s tied hand and foot to Iraq but nobody talks about Iraq, right? It’s like the new, Neo-Reagan Law of the Republican Party: Republicans shalt not speak of ongoing, horrendous Republican fuck-ups. Which means any dialogue on Iraq is a no-no and George Dubya Bush is the new Voldemort.
What about Ron Paul? I don’t think he could win either. Why? He speaks the Truth on foreign policy. Republicans hate the Truth. Obscure it whenever they can. They figure (and rightfully so) that the population at large would never go along with half of the cockamamie schemes that have kept America afloat as long as it has, that the tyranny of the majority can only hurt the Glory of the Status Quo. If amalgamated into a single person they would be Jack Nicholson in "a Few Good Men," and most people, it turns out, really couldn’t handle the Truth.
I like to think Paul could win (though he’s medieval on Abortion and appalling on a host of other things) because that would mean that even the Right Wing has finally learned the lesson it has steadfastedly refused to even consider: that America’s Foreign Policy is not only one of it’s biggest problems but one of the entire world’s biggest problems and has been for decades. The omni-fractured Middle East alone is testament enough of that but it has never before been enough for the Right wing, who’re perfectly happy to blame it all on the desert rats. Or the French. And sometimes the Jews. Nope, if anything it’s the Republicans that can’t handle the Truth and that’s why Paul’s most likely doomed. But hey, prove me wrong, you know? Absolutely love to see it.
No, I keep going back to McCain. Every day Giuliani free-falls (and I don’t see how he can pull out of it, I think there’s a treasure-trove of scandal yet to gurgle forward from the ooze of this creature’s stay as the mayor of Nine Eleven) may go along way towards furthering McCain as the NeoCon favorite, which still has a hideous amount of power in American politics, government and with, of course, Big Oil. Which also means a good cash infusion if they think he’s the horse that should win.
But McCain though? Do I even think that? How could he possibly go on to defeat any single candidate on the Left? In spite of the fact that nothing significant has happened since then, the American people sent a loud and clear message to the political fiefdom in 2006: we don’t like losing. Get us out. Now. Course, they didn’t do what they were told by their supposed bosses but they certainly got the message.
All of which means I find myself in the very unlikely position of placing my bets on John McCain to win the Republican Nomination. I know. It’s ridiculous. I sound like an idiot. I don’t even like saying it. But the Creationist is gonna implode, Giuliani's might just be the biggest scandal magnet in history and Mitt Romney failed to reduce what I like to call the "Otheriness of Mormonism in America" with his Bizarro world version of the JFK speech.
And somebody’s just gotta win this thing. Bloody weird is what it is. Make no mistake about it, this is shaping up to be the weirdest race in political history. And just wait til the Independents announce.
READER'S POLL
Which trait will sink which candidate?
a) Giuliani's well established abuse of public funds while mayor of NYC
51% 23 votes
b) Romney's "Mormon problem"
22% 10 votes
c) Huck's creationism
d) McCain's attachment to the incumbent's ideas and policies
20% 9 votes
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