Thu Dec 06, 2007 at 11:13:14 PM PST
JOHN: Miss Perino, what do you make of eminent dKos blogger iSenseChange’s statement that this latest scandal is incontrovertible evidence that President Bush is a lying, evil and insane bastard and should be the subject of an impeachment investigation?
"What am I gonna tell them this time? I mean, I’m good, I know I’m good but this one...Jesus. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Knew this was gonna happen! Knew it. They think the NIE was just gonna disappear or something? Idiots. Goddamn Cheney!"
"Fuck it. I’m hot. Bring it on you sissies. Hah!"
DANA:(offers a very pitying smile) Look, the President has been very clear, if you can understand as I do how he speaks and you should know better than to ask such a question, John. I would expect something like this from iSenseChange but not you. C’mon.
JOHN:(full of genuine shame)I know, I’m sorry Dana. Still, it’s not just iSenseChange, it’s, well...everybody! Joe Scarborough and Pat Buchanan want an investigation into who knew what and when. Scarborough and Buchanan!
DANA: You’re going to tell me that a ‘journalist" in the Leftist and possibly Communist MSNBC wants an investigation of a Republican president? Big surprise.
JOHN: Hey, I’m from the MSNBC!
DANA: And there you have it. Next question?
JOHN: Buchanan though? He said that what you guys are trying to pull is "non-credible" today and that he thinks they oughta subpoena Condie and Hadley and Gates and Negroponte and basically whoever else they can get their mitts on.
DANA: Yeah, well, how’s the whole congressional subpoena process been working so far?
JOHN: Touche, but –
DANA: How about the whole investigation process, what’s that been doing for you lately, anything at all?
JOHN: Touche again but don’t you think that if you guys have lost credibility with Patty Buchanan and ‘Stupid and Proud of It’ cheerleader Joey Scarborough then pretty much nobody, anywhere believes what you yourself are saying even right this very second?
DANA: Yeah, that’s a tough one. Attack the messenger, attack the messenger...Pat Buchanan’s getting older. Joey Scarborough’s been a communist for most of his life. And the President has never actually lied to anybody since he ditched the coke and found God. Think about it.
JOHN: Errrrr...okay...? Think about what?
DANA: Think about your next question? Before you ask it. Next question?
JOHN: A follow-up question, if I could-
DANA: (audible impatient sigh): Whatever. Jesus wept!
JOHN: The other assertion this iSenseChange made is that if Dubya-
DANA: (a deeply disapproving frown and a look that would melt steel) Dubya?
JOHN: Georgie! George!
DANA: The President.
JOHN: (full of shame) Sorry. But the other assertion iSenseChange makes is that in the extremely unlikely and nearly impossible event that Dub- the President is telling the truth and that he didn’t know the thrust of the NIE until just the other day (which we all agree is impossible, but for the sake of argument we'll call it nearly impossible) then wouldn’t he be so bad at his job, the worst ever (like he wasn’t already), that he would have to be impeached anyways? Just for simple derelection of duty, let’s say? To whit: lying dick or grotesquely incompetent and possibly retarded, doesn’t matter, the President should be impeached either way?
Dana: May I remind you this is a time of War? Congratulations, you just emboldened Al-Queda in Iraq. Kill troops much?
John: I thought things were going swimmingly in Iraq?
Dana: They are. Thanks for asking. Next question?
READER's POLL:
Dana Perino is
a) in possession of a soul in mortal jeopardy
10% 8 votes
b) competently enabling the biggest criminals in history
22% 18 votes
c) a Nazi uberwoman. BOW DOWN!
18% 15 votes
d) spinning so fast she may just disappear
41% 33 votes
e) possibly falling in love with esteemed DailyKos blogger and eminent sage, iSenseChange
7% 6 votes
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