Thursday, March 09, 2006

Your SenseChange Conspiracy Guide: The Dubai Port Distraction

As a Public Service, the SenseChange Center for Positive Change is pleased to present you the very latest in political conspiracy understanding.

The Action: The Dubai Port Distraction.

The Players: George "Dubya" Bush and the Senate.

The Details: The whole country has been in an uproar over Dubya's intent to sell of the security of several key american ports to a company based and owned by the nation of the United Arab Emirates. Safe ports being important to Security and Dubai being located in a Mid East Country with connections to the both the Taliban and the 911 hijackers (two of them were from UAE, which is a far vaster connection than exists between Iraq and 911, which is of course zero), this has been a confusing deal for politicians, talking heads, intellectuals and regular joes.

The idea was considered so universally bad by all Americans that even Dubya's own Republican Rubber Stamp Congress started hissing like snakes, to which Dubya responded, "hey I got one 'a them veto thingees I haven't used yet. You guys wanna mess with 'Ol Texas? C'mon, make me use my veto!"

So that was the scene. Until today. the Deal collapsed...why?

THE CONSPIRACY: Three things happened during this whole tangled web of lies and stupidity.

1) The Republican party has never looked worse since Dubya took the helm. And elections are coming up this season. If they don't want to get kicked out of their asses they have to
A) distance themselves from this leering, incompetant and possibly deeply evil Chimp-In-Chief
B) Look like they care about anything rather than money
C) Easily hack the voting machines which they own entirely. AGAIN!

With the Ports deal the Republican Party stands up to the President. We've REFORMED! HONESTLY! SEE HOW WE STOOD UP TO DUBYA?

They're going to use this. They NEED this.

That's facet one of the Dubai Port Conspiracy, the other is vastly more important.

2) the Port Deal crashes the very same day that the Second Patriot Act is pushed through, amongst little fanfare. PATRIOT II! Scared by the first one? THEY JUST DID IT AGAIN! JUMPIN' JIMINY CHRIST in a FUCKING SIDECAR!!!!

Oh they're good. Reeeeeeeeal good.

Patriot II: It's now that much easier for them to just erase you.

We were all so busy and up in arms about Dubai and they just took more freedoms away from your average American. Know how cocky they are? They did it all on the same day. They know some of us are gonna clue in, just as they know most of us won't. They'll get away with it. They just did. See you in the clink, Citizens. Or the gulags.

3) Know who's running the ports now that Dubai isn't going to? Halliburton. Cheney's crew. That he STILL gets paid from, which is STILL a clear conflict of interest! Sigh...take it America, right in the ass. AGAIN!

Fools, one and all. Self included. Shit.

This has been your SenseChange Conspiracy Guide, brought to you by the good folks at the SenseChange center for Positive Change, reminding you as always that everything is a conspiracy until further notice.

Eyes Open Citizens!

That is all.

-SenseChange

NonRandomMP3age: "Everybody Knows" Leonard Cohen

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