Sunday, March 26, 2006

To Be or Not to Be


As a Mortal, I can choose to "be". Mortals have that choice, Immortals, by definition, do not. In that one small way is something we mortals can do that the immortals cannot. Which is what probably makes us so damned interesting. Right?

To choose.

Can you choose not to choose and by doing so have chosen? Or not? That is the question. Or is it?

They last forever, this God, these Gods, this MultiVerse. We get one kick at the can. I look at my one Life as an Adventure fraught with Beauty and Peril, a battle at times, a party the next.

Is Life a Story? Can a Mortal make one's story Epic or does one have the choice? To make a difference or not? To leave your mark or not?

Or to just settle down and play the game like everybody else, retire in a place chock full of gorgeous, ethnic women. With GREAT ASSES! Get drunk lots, have kids lots. Fall asleep in hammocks on beaches. Learn to play the guitar. And the piano. Hang around with buddies. Laugh alot.

Is it nobler to make a difference? But noble to whom and for what? Why not identify yourSelf or Selves to those that would forswear their fealty? There is a great confusion as to the Identity or Identities of this Supreme Being or Pantheon. Or if there is an Identity at all. If there's even a You. Or a you. Or nothing. Just that one shot at it, in the final analysis, of that much, and that much alone, we can be certain.

God and the Devil, another Great Dichotomy. Like Heaven and Hell, Gods and Devils, Good and Evil. Well, what about Life and Death? Young and Old? Man and Woman? Black and White? Is it not all just the Yin and Yang? If all Mortal and Immortal things operate in dichotomies, does that mean we can apply a systems approach to Existence and say that all Things are chips found along the Grand Binary? And if yes, is our spot precise in this binary or can it move, and can the chip move of it's own accord if it so chooses? And is it in levels and therefore all Quantum?

Is it a system? If yes, what then, this system? Does it even have a personality? Or is it some amorphous, impersonal power that is itself that binary system? An organism of some sort? Is it a Machine? A Polarity? What?

Form or system, Gods, or anything at all? Is it the Universe simply being the Universe, whatever that is?

But what of those strong feelings around 'coincidences'. Are they coincidences or are they confluences of trillions of events and choices that dictates you Being in that exact spot at that exact instant of Confluence? It most certainly feels like things happen with an audible click sometimes, of things having fallen into place before a Mortal. What of those?

Coincidence or Confluence? Form or Substance? Bearded Old Man or Impersonal SupraNatural System? Free Will or Determinism? Choice or Destiny? Or NOTHING AT ALL? Just what the Heaven/Hell/Whatever is going on here, anyways?

Does Destiny exist, and if it does, is that a limitation? Am I powerless but to do whatever it is I do? Is the path nailed into place before a Mortal or does one choose one's path? Can you even make a choice? Have I ever made a choice or is it all I've ever done? You know?

A choice then. So choose. I, for one, not only choose to live but to live each day, breathless, amidst Grand Adventure. I will Question and Know. I will Fight and Fuck. I will Love and Hate, I will Live and Die my Life along the Great Binary of Existence and Nothingness.
Of that much, I am certain. The story, Epic or not, has an ending. As does all things but Change itself.

-SenseChange...and I do, by the way. Did I mention it?

p.p. I am also most certain that I am a Fool.

NonRandomMP3age: "Ode to Joy," by Beethoven. "the Peer Gynt Suite," and "Wandering Star" by Portishead.

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